one step closer towards a fuller life: working on a new me

i signed up to a further 6 weeks of yoga this week, or to be precise, two lots of lessons. in first batch, we are given a goal, the crow, and in the second, we are working towards a stronger core, i.e stomach and lower back. yoga was previously fun and relaxing, but not so much these days. i think it's good because we are now in the next stage of improvement. as always i was being a wuss and ended up whinging and whining. then again, my right shoulder was playing up (it is weak, so...) and when there is physical pain, it is really hard to be positive about life.

i was tagged in an ice-bucket challenge by a dear friend who thought that "i could do it". and yes, i guess i could, and i am not doing it out of principle. it is not about donating to charity (although this is a different discussion altogether), it is the fact that i think doing an ice bucket challenge is just plain silly, not to mention wasteful. no offence to everyone else who participated or going to participate - you do whatever floats your boat. this does not float mine.

so in lieu of doing an ice bucket challenge, i am doing a no fried chicken challenge. as the name suggests, it entails me not eating fried chicken from Sep 2 till Sep 30. i am now in day 8 and have been experiencing 2 days (and counting) of fried chicken craving. this, coupled with a more challenging yoga routine, sound like a recipe for disaster. i honestly don't know how my will power will cope with this.

my yoga teacher said that we have to put in the effort towards a vision, while at the same time, not having an attachment to the outcome of our efforts. (she of course put it in much better words.) i am willing to put in the effort to do these in the hope that i will be a better person by the end of the month. don't know if i will be able to do the crow, only hoping that i become stronger in the next few weeks.

i guess in short, happy to report that this whole wardrobe simplifying slash mindful shopping principles have started to permeate to other aspects in my life. we'll get back to more discussion on wardrobe/closet/shopping stuff soon.

you have to have stuff before you can let go

... else there's nothing to let go.

As was cleverly pointed out to me the other day, this whole notion of downsizing and letting of stuff happen for people who have had the luxury of overindulging in excess stuff. Just like any other kind of excess, once you've had too much, you don't want it anymore.

My overindulgence experience makes me who I am today, and I am pretty okay work in progress, I think. There are still moments in which I wish that I had the wisdom and vision of knowing this before it happens, so that I can skip over the wasting money/resources while unnecessarily overindulging. At times I am mortified at my former self and how I used to approach spending and shopping.

But I focus on the good and the other things on my list that I'd like to become and concentrate my efforts in that direction. I try to be kind when it comes to the mistakes I've made in the past, and just move forward. This is hard, and necessary for progress.

In my latest round of downsizing, I am letting go of the things that I am lukewarm about. These are things that are, you know, oh-kayy, which found their way into my closet because I was too lazy to look for the item that would allow me to realise the vision I had in my head more closely. Specifically, these are:

(1) red coat - holy fucking shit, I love red coats. This has got nothing to do with the fact that I attended a school whose winter uniform included a red duffle coat, that I secretly loved; I guess now the secret's out. This has a lot to do with the fact that I love the colour red, it has the power to make me feel better, instantly.

(2) dark gray anything - I am living in dark gray everything this winter, I have been doing this since last winter and I realise that I am growing to love the colour more and more. I am not alone in this, I know this because I find myself in colour-related conversations discussing my love for dark gray anything. My love for this colour is almost as intense as my love for red.

(3) black - I was never into black until I met le boyf whose collection was black everything, until he met me and started wearing a lot of... red. Need I explain more? The people you love often influence your sense of style because they like to see you in a certain way. Le boyf dresses better than me, and being with me has resulted in me being more experimental with the things I wear. His sense of style is very stable, whereas mine is more all over the place. People who see us tend to think that I dress sloppily compared to him, but I swear it's just a different style. Or to put it differently, I am not as classically inclined as he is during the weekends that we are seen together.

This weekend, while it is pouring wet, yet again, I am going through my closet and asking the question "Do I love it?" and if the answer is no, the item has to go. Funny how the universe has the ability to carve out some time in your schedule to make you one step closer to the vision that you didn't realise you have: every item that stays my closet, I want to love them because of their quality.

Happy weekend and stay dry. x

outfit: monochromatic (and some closet spending pattern analysis)

jacket: asos | shirt: saxony | jeans: uniqlo | shoes: nine west | sunglasses: prada

not shown - bag: the leather satchel co

borrowed from le boyf - scarf: asos

hey guys! 

(at the time of writing) it's been a productive weekend so far. wet, windy and cold weather is the best for decluttering and simplifying! further reduced the size of the closet by donating two massive bags of clothes and shoes. yes, shoes. these are the ones that were not comfortable to me. i have weird feet. i resolved to keep only the ones that i could actually walk in, without wobbling.

it still horrifies me that i have so much clothes, although perhaps at this point in time, i probably have reduced my closet by 30%. i've been tracking my clothing purchases since mid 2012, and i've been updating this spreadsheet in an attempt to understand my purchasing behaviour. so far, these are my observations:

(1) i always view myself as someone who exercises thoughtful spending just because i adhere to my budget all the time, but the data shows that i often buy things on impulse and most of these things are terrible quality that don't last longer than a few months. i hate to admit this: i waste a lot of money in the process. 

(2) i really really really do not NEED 90% of the stuff that i buy. if i were to be completely honest, most of the time i bought those things because it is too good of a deal to pass. ugh. FOMO much?

(3) i spent most of my budget during holidays. for some weird reason, my willpower goes out the window when i am in a different country. i love the things that i buy (and most of them survive the latest culling spree), i have worn most of them and love wearing them. can i buy them here? probably yes. if i were to do that, would i have gotten them for a better price? probably yes. so why couldn't i just wait? i dont know. 

those are my stories so far. yours? 

x 

is most of your spending rational, rationalised or simply reckless?

this post is inspired by this article by Gip Plaster, where he discussed when is it okay to buy something. this is a topic that is very useful when it comes to changing our purchasing habits. very often we think that if we've got the money, then it is okay, because at least, we are not turning upside down financing the purchase. i certainly adopt this way of thinking. i often forget that just because we can afford it does not mean that we are being responsible.

responsible purchasing is rational spending, we all know that. but why is it so easy to suffer from rationalised and/or reckless spending?

as someone who is intimate with spreadsheets, i maintain a spreadsheet for my wardrobe purchases. i thought that i have been thoughtful with my purchases, you know, practising the power pause, maintaining a lust list and deferring purchases as long as possible. despite all of these, it turned out that i have not been as thoughtful as i like to be.

because i haven't been rational.

i know that i have a lot of jeans and i know that i don't need another pair, yet so far this year, i bought two new pairs anyway because... errr i could? i could do so because (1) i liked them, (2) i could afford them, (3) i have waited for a while before i bought them, so you know, they are a meant-to-be.

if i was rational, i would have correctly pointed out that i did not need them and subsequently did not even consider purchasing them.

i was not rational when i bought my last pair of shoes. i definitely do not need a new pair of shoes. i rationalise this purchase by getting rid of 6 pairs of shoes, shoes that i didn't need when i bought them, and are now hopefully in the hands of someone else who would give them more love than me.

i don't know if i can be rational when it comes to shoes, but i will try to be rational with everything else in my wardrobe.

i bought shoes (shopping ban ends)

oh hi!

it's August. and i bought the above shoes. they have been on the lust list for a very long time. although given that they have been there for a long time probably mean love more than lust.

the story goes like this: this morning i browsed through asos.com (achilles heel) and came across these babies on 30% off. i took a gamble with the size, i either got it right, or a size too big. no matter. i can never tell with asos's size conversion to be honest, i wish they don't convert them and just say whatever the tag says.

long story short, i kept thinking about them the whole day and purchased them. shopping ban be damned!

but the real question is, did i get rid of 20 items?

answer is yes.

the funny thing after the great closet clean out is that i develop a more critical eye. i basically got rid of things that i thought i wanted to wear and have not worn for the past year or so. this is probably not a big deal for other people, but it is somewhat of a big deal for me.

because i realise that my style changes. i no longer want to wear those things, not because i don't like them, but because i don't want to do that style anymore. i used to like it and i used to think that it was 'me'. it is not 'me' right now.

i dont know how long this version of 'me' would last, i hope it would stick around for a while. i like changing my style, and i think it's good that it happens - but at the same time it somewhat means i don't really have a signature style.

i dont know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, all i know is that, well, it works for me, for now.

other observations

timing - as soon as it hits August 1st, i got to the next stage of culling. i dont know if this is because i want to have the option to shop or whether i was in downsizing mode, or both. but i knew that getting rid of 20 items was harder when my closet was relatively 'clean' to begin with; yet a cleaner closet allowed me to step up to the challenge. in short, it was a ruthless exercise that is deeply satisfying.

process - a lot has been written about the process of decluttering, downsizing, shopping ban and the like. i dont have further to add at this stage other than to reiterate that it is an on-going exercise, and i don't think i will ever be done forever. i am happy with my closet right now primarily because it reflects my lifestyle and i am excited to refine it further in future.

the latest purchase (above) - these babies are the nike sky high dunk in black with snake skin effect. i wanted to purchase them at full price about six months ago, and did not because, errr... i was being Asian. they were on sale, of course, and so i gave in to temptation. i am stoked. like stoked. i don't know how long this high would last; i do hope they stick around for a while.

i consider this a great start to the weekend!

so why 20 items

we had our very first fashion swap event at the office yesterday. a lot of 'swapping' happened. it is so good to see someone else walked away with your stuff happy. it was truly a case of being happy making other people happy.

i took home 3 items. (yes, 6 items went out of the closet.)

why 20 items?

there is no concrete reason. i took that number out of thin air. i wanted to say 10, which would be a more realistic number, but thought that doubling that would make the experiment funner. that's all there is to it, there was no further thought involved in coming up with that number. or the twist in the shopping ban design (quantity instead of duration).

i admit that i like fashion, well, some what. i enjoy dressing up and all its associated process, including shopping and budgeting (side track: my neighbours are having sex and i can hear them through the wall!!), but fashion is something that i cannot take seriously. i cannot talk about this in real life without bursting into laughter one way or another. this is not to say that this is not a serious matter, because there are people who take this seriously; this is to say that this is a fun pursuit for me.

have a nice weekend - it is wet, windy and cold. talk to you through Twitter. stay warm and dry. xx

another shopping ban

hey guys!

i am going to embark on another shopping ban. yes, i know i've said previously that the real challenge is to practise disciplined purchasing sans the shopping ban. but i am intrigued, perhaps a more accurate diction is inspired by Kali Vine, to do this all over again (Kali calls it shopping fast, but shopping ban or shopping fast, they are pretty much the same thing in practice).

but first, since the shopping ban back in February, how was my shopping activity?

yes, i have been a consumer. on average, i purchase 2 new items per month - these are in the form of clothing items mostly. they are not my needs, although if required, i can convince myself that i need them. i have been practising the one-in-two-out rule loosely, as in, if i purchase say, a jacket, it doesn't always follow that i would be getting rid of two jackets, it can be other items. the jacket pictured above was in my lust list for the longest time, ok, exaggeration, since two winters ago. i have been in and out of the superdry store trying out all sorts of jackets and not purchasing anything because i seemed unable to find the one at the right length. i decided to stick to my standards and not purchase until i see one that fits the bill. oh, it also helps that my boss kindly gave out a big fat bonus at round about the same time.

needless to say, my wardrobe size is shrinking, i am still an active consumerist, and i am terrible at documenting this journey. sorry :(

i derive this unexplainable, odd pleasure out of window shopping - both in the virtual world and the physical world. i guess this is partially because i am Asian, and we quite literally spend a lot of our leisure time hanging out in the mall (stinking hot outside, okay). i've worked on raising my wardrobe standards so that i can make it smaller over time. it is a lot smaller today than a year ago, and i want it to be smaller by the end of this year.

which brings us to this shopping ban. my lust list is not empty, there are items on that list that have been outstanding for the longest time. there will be temptation for me to shop. but what i'd like to try is to resist this temptation. i would like to succeed, of course, but acknowledge that there is a very real possibility of failing. i will still practise the one-in-two-out rule as i currently do, it is just that the item that comes in is not something that i purchase (or le boyf purchases for me).

i will try to document the process better this time - in particular, blogging once a week detailing all the temptations and how i deal with them. they say that will power alone is not enough, and i tend to agree, so there will be my tips on how to survive the journey altogether. as a starting point, i have every intention to stay away from ASOS, Shopbop and Net-a-porter.

this shopping ban will end once i have gotten rid of 20 items from my wardrobe, excluding the ones that go out because of the application of the one-in-two-out rule. what this really means is if i get rid of two items because another one is coming in, those two items out do not count towards the 20. i will try to document these too - this is largely inspired by Debbie Roes. i am currently in the middle of a closet clean out, and i don't want these items to count towards the 20, so the counting of the 20 will start on August 1st, so that they will, one way or another, represent the items that have survived the current decluttering spree. the idea is to purchase new things once i've gone through another round of closet clean-out, of if there are 20 items that are worn out.

ok, i hope that the above twist should make things a little bit different. post this current clean-out, i will have no intention of getting rid of 20 items, but will say that i can probably function and dress better with 20 less items, so let's see.

happy weekend. please comment through Twitter.