acquisition analysis: black bag

[at the time of writing] i had just received the above bag. historically, the trend is that i purchase a lot more often than i walk away. this one is different though: i have an irrational lust for this bag on first sight, something that doesn't happen very often. there are a lot of things that i find beautiful, but very few that i am strongly attracted to.

i have always maintained that a good handbag has the ability to elevate an outfit, and is a pretty good "investment" because it's independent of one's fluctuating shape. as in, even if you lose/gain weight, your bags would still be there for you, you know. i recently did a purge of all the handbags of my younger years (some of which makes me cringe), in an effort to have with a relatively clean start. the goal is to have a collection that stands the test of time. this is a rather ambitious goal on my part because i dont know what i am going to like in ten years time. point is that i try to stick on the classic side whenever i can.

i have been wanting a black bag that's relatively small/medium in size for the days that i don't have to carry around a tote (i rotate two different-styled totes on a daily basis). it needs to be small enough and big enough at the same time (annoying, i know) because i want it to perform double duty: for work on the days that i carry light, and for fun on the days that i carry more than usual. i decided that the max size would be 30-35cm, anything over that is just to big to be practical to be considered small. (this paragraph is very hard to write because the points are difficult to articulate. if you've been in my position, you would know that there are some days in which a tote is just too big for all the stuff you need to carry. not that it matters, a tote still functions while slouchy, which can serve as a point of interest to the outfit. however, it is nice to have a bag that's small enough for those days, because sometimes, it's not just about function. function is important, of course: if something doesn't function, then it's useless. yet when form and function meet, man, that's quite something.)

and the usual acquisition criteria apply - good material and construction: leather, durable; affordable for its quality. i have to mention the last point because there are a lot of seemingly good quality options out there (whether they really represent good quality of not is another discussion another time) at prices that i would rather not afford. i take care of my bags (and everything else i own), but i don't exactly "baby" them either, so they can't be too high maintenance, else i would be spending more time maintaining them than using them.

i have this debate with myself over and over and over again before settling at a price point that i deem reasonable for a bag for my current lifestyle. this is a very personal decision and i would not even dare to recommend this to anyone else because the price of something, anything, needs to be evaluated based on one's current lifestyle. i get that this is made even more complicated due to the fact that i expect the bag to stand the test of time. but this is not a financial analysis whereby one does an NPV analysis, rather, this is a value analysis, whereby one gets to assign a dollar value in terms of what one deems to be appropriate in the item's contribution to one's life. it is definitely arbitrary in nature, and in arriving at this value, you just need to remember the trade off between quality and dollar value, and also that just because something is expensive does not automatically mean it represents good quality.

Furla has been around for as long as i can remember, but i never paid enough attention to anything inside the store, until i saw the Piper bag. i am normally not attracted to dome-shaped bags, although admittedly, i did look at a Coach patent leather dome bag a few months ago (and didn't purchase). either the shape was growing on me, or i just want a variety of shapes, or perhaps it's something else - the Piper stole my heart at first sight. it was one of those things that you just knew you would love. (side note: there is nothing else in the collection that caught my attention the way the Piper did, i do acknowledge that aside from their Candy Bag collection, Furla actually errs on the classic side, which explains why it never appealed to me previously.)

i haven't felt this strongly about an acquisition for a long time, so i am rather curious as to why. i went back to my wardrobe spreadsheet and looked at the items that i've acquired this (financial) year: a jacket, a pair of shoes, a pair of jeans (replacement pair for two current pairs that i retired due to being worn out) and a bag (this bag). all of these items have been on my lust list for a long time and the jacket and the shoes have gotten quite a lot of wear considering their relative new-ness, which is to say that they integrate seamlessly into my wardrobe. that said, it is probably because i have a relatively clean state because i have been donating quite a lot of stuff. it is somewhat rather funny that given that when i first bought the shoes, i admitted that i was being irrational. i rationalised the decision by letting go of the shoes that i didn't wear often. i end up wearing the new shoes more often, and became happier as a result. perhaps the key is to actually let go of the things you don't love, so that you don't have to waste so much emotional energy, period.

i guess it is the planning, the research and everything else in between that somewhat contributes to this sense of euphoria. i hate to admit this, but when something is acquired mindfully, it is way more satisfying than something acquired on impulse.

image is from here (you can also buy the bag there - click at your own peril!)

ps. in the case of the shoes, it was one pair in, and 6 pairs out. in the case of the bag, it is one in and 5 out. pretty good for someone who's trying to downsize and stay stylish at the same time!

acquisition analysis is a series of entries that centres on the practical side of how to maximise your marginal utility when spending your money. it is not primarily directed at the financial side of things, rather, on refining my buying skills, specifically on how an item would fit into my life. after all, if it is true that i get to design my life, then it follows that i need to be more critical in both adding and subtracting what's in it. furthermore, i personally believe that in order to maximise one's resources, acquisitions (or purchases) have to be of a strategic nature, instead of a mere time-filler. i admit that at this stage, i am yet to formalise an acquisition process, so one of the goals would be to come up with my acquisition process after i analyse a few of my past purchases. this should make for an interesting exercise because i note that some of my acquisitions do not necessarily stand the test of time. some items that i purchased turn out to be of a terrible quality, despite meticulously taking care of them. lots of lessons to be had!

why i think the shopping ban is not for me: what really curbs my spending

i do not do shopping bans well. i think after doing it about three times now, with varying degrees of success, it's pretty evident that i suck at it.

this is because: i dislike not being able to shop (even when i don't want to shop; i am weird, i know). i guess i don't do well with this sort of restriction in my life.

i agree that this sounds like an excuse, and is definitely a terrible thing to write out in a blog post. but, in the rather off chance that you are like me, this is perhaps something worth pondering about. for a lot of people, the shopping ban works because it removes a choice from their lives. for me, it doesn't really work because i like having that choice to purchase if i want to.

i keep a spreadsheet of wardrobe spending, meticulously tracking this aspect of my life for the past 2 years. so far, the trends for total wardrobe spending ($) and items (no.) are falling, which is what i want. i don't keep a record of the things that i donated, but i have been donating a lot lately, which is also something i want. i cringe at the monetary value of donated items, which is something i don't want to, but do. i come to the conclusion that in terms of monetary value, rarely worn clothing is a terrible investment.

observing this spreadsheet in the past few months reveals that even in the presence of a choice to purchase, i don't always purchase. i manage to talk myself out of it. most of the time, after lusting after a particular thing, i come to the conclusion that i don't need the said thing, so why purchase. my bank account is very happy with this decision.

i think there is also a reverse psychology happening here - when you tell yourself not to do something, you end up thinking about doing it, and then actually doing it. so instead of telling me not to shop, i tell myself to pause and think about why i purchase. this pause is very important because this is the time and space to evaluate the desire to purchase, not just the item to purchase.

so, in summary this is what works for me right now: exercising a critical eye when purchasing, pausing and asking why i purchase, and once purchased, hopefully wear my clothes to death.

or in short, my goal is to be a smart and conscious consumer.

(this is one of those posts that make me feel so grown up. dont ask why.)

how i am weaning myself from mindless comfort shopping

confession: i have a problem

one: i hate admitting that over the last five years, my shopping has been mostly mindless and was done to comfort me from whatever discomfort i was trying to counteract. i had a shitty coping mechanism.

two: despite my reluctance to admit the above, admitting it is actually ... liberating.

three: i am a work-in-progress; i note that this does get easier with time, although i am not too sure why. i like to think that i understand myself better, therefore can cope better. or that it is simply getting rid of a bad habit and acquiring a new, better habit. or that it is simply an increased awareness exercise. or all of the above. i don't know.

but it does work.

[side note: my life is far from being classified as "edited" or "curated" or whatever adjective along those lines. the end goal is no where near.]

understanding the why

a lot of resources out there are devoted to getting you started on this stop shopping journey. starting is important, because for a lot of people, it is the one thing that kick-starts the journey. once you start, chance of you staying in the course is pretty big, or at least, better than if you didn't start at all. the key to sustaining this is to understand the why - why are you doing this? why is this so important to you? why are you willing to suffer for this?

the answers to these questions are different to each individual, so there is no right or wrong. personally, i want to be a more responsible person: intellectually, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually, environmentally, socially (not in any order of importance). i also want more space in my life. i am a firm believer in space because having space allows you to grow, and growing is an important condition of living. put differently, part of living well is growing. i want to live well, so i grow and i am willing to suffer to grow.

the lifestyle you 'should' have (vs what you want to have)

part of the deal about living in a society is dealing with their expectations - these are what i call the 'should's of live. you should do this, you should do that. you should have this, you should have that. for a while, i avoided using the word 'should' in my sentences. it didn't last very long - i was too lazy to construct better sentences that i knew could convey my meanings better. sorry, i realise that this is a terrible excuse, but it was also the truth.

the key to reconciling how we want to live and how society thinks we should lies in this thing called validation, whether yours is externally derived or internally derived. i suspect for most people it's a combination of both, and for those who are comfortable with themselves, most of this validation is internally derived.

so it boils down to you designing the life that works for you. if you are someone who needs a lot of external validation, then make sure you surround yourself with supportive people. if you are someone who doesn't, then you perhaps don't need to do this, but can devote your attention somewhere else, like maybe, supporting those who need your validation.

is it hard?

yes it is. i got to a point whereby i want it quite badly, so i stick with it. of course i think it is worth it. my latest accomplishment is not purchasing anything during September, and i did this without a shopping ban in place! woot!

next i'll discuss why i think shopping bans don't work for me. until then. x

what does your dream closet look like?

into-mind.com

we had just had another fashion swap at the office, except that this is more like a fashion dump. that is, things that we are eventually donating to charity. i took out things that don't fit me well, and did not pull anything for myself. major accomplishment. (total 5 items out)

in my latest round of culling, i have been applying the above checklist from into-mind.com. in summary, i ask myself this question over and over and over again: does this item have a spot in my dream closet? i do have a picture of my dream closet in my mind, and while admittedly this image changes from time to time, there are certain elements that seem to persist. so i try to stay true to those things and get rid of the rest.

and another accomplishment that's somewhat major: did not buy a single wardrobe item throughout September! woo hoo! i guess being exposed to so much fashion week material really dampens my shopping urges.

Let go of (unnecessary) things to FOCUS on the important things

If you have a hard time actually letting go of things, especially clothes, and if you're like me, it really boils down to the guilt of wasting money if I were to let go of an item. This is particularly true if the item is relatively new and I have been trying to incorporate it to my wardrobe without much success (i.e. it doesn't get enough wear).

These are the summary of my thoughts process on the issue:
• I have already spent the money to buy the clothes (or whatever item) and letting it stay unused is equal to getting it wasted, I am not getting any value from its presence in my closet.
• I can convince myself that I am getting some sort of value – because of some irrational attachment or whatever, but if I were to be honest with myself, I am actually not because every time I see it, I am reminded of the mistake I've made and the financial costs attached to that mistake. We are all human, we make mistakes, it happens. Learn from it and move on. I don’t need a daily reminder, really.
• The real cost of letting an item stay in my closet is more than its initial purchase price. It costs me some form of resources, be it financial or time or at least, mental capacity, to maintain it, clean it, store it, move/transport it.

The highest cost is this: having unwanted stuff amongst my wanted stuff distracts my focus. Lack of focus is dangerous because it makes me more prone of making mistakes. I am a big believer in making my life easier be creating an environment that’s conducive of clarity and light.

Since I am  not getting any positive value out of it, I have decided to let it go, cut my losses. Donate it and let it have a chance in someone else's closet; or sell it, if it's worth the trouble (read: if I can afford the time and resources). I have very little patience for these things and for the non-profit that I made from my last round of putting stuff for sale on ebay, donation works best for me.

I have been letting go of a lot of things from my apartment, I did not even realise that I had so much stuff. This has been liberating on so many front, primarily because it allows me to focus on the most important things: the things that you cannot buy with money.

Simple is not always easy, but it is a worth while exercise.

one step closer towards a fuller life: working on a new me

i signed up to a further 6 weeks of yoga this week, or to be precise, two lots of lessons. in first batch, we are given a goal, the crow, and in the second, we are working towards a stronger core, i.e stomach and lower back. yoga was previously fun and relaxing, but not so much these days. i think it's good because we are now in the next stage of improvement. as always i was being a wuss and ended up whinging and whining. then again, my right shoulder was playing up (it is weak, so...) and when there is physical pain, it is really hard to be positive about life.

i was tagged in an ice-bucket challenge by a dear friend who thought that "i could do it". and yes, i guess i could, and i am not doing it out of principle. it is not about donating to charity (although this is a different discussion altogether), it is the fact that i think doing an ice bucket challenge is just plain silly, not to mention wasteful. no offence to everyone else who participated or going to participate - you do whatever floats your boat. this does not float mine.

so in lieu of doing an ice bucket challenge, i am doing a no fried chicken challenge. as the name suggests, it entails me not eating fried chicken from Sep 2 till Sep 30. i am now in day 8 and have been experiencing 2 days (and counting) of fried chicken craving. this, coupled with a more challenging yoga routine, sound like a recipe for disaster. i honestly don't know how my will power will cope with this.

my yoga teacher said that we have to put in the effort towards a vision, while at the same time, not having an attachment to the outcome of our efforts. (she of course put it in much better words.) i am willing to put in the effort to do these in the hope that i will be a better person by the end of the month. don't know if i will be able to do the crow, only hoping that i become stronger in the next few weeks.

i guess in short, happy to report that this whole wardrobe simplifying slash mindful shopping principles have started to permeate to other aspects in my life. we'll get back to more discussion on wardrobe/closet/shopping stuff soon.

you have to have stuff before you can let go

... else there's nothing to let go.

As was cleverly pointed out to me the other day, this whole notion of downsizing and letting of stuff happen for people who have had the luxury of overindulging in excess stuff. Just like any other kind of excess, once you've had too much, you don't want it anymore.

My overindulgence experience makes me who I am today, and I am pretty okay work in progress, I think. There are still moments in which I wish that I had the wisdom and vision of knowing this before it happens, so that I can skip over the wasting money/resources while unnecessarily overindulging. At times I am mortified at my former self and how I used to approach spending and shopping.

But I focus on the good and the other things on my list that I'd like to become and concentrate my efforts in that direction. I try to be kind when it comes to the mistakes I've made in the past, and just move forward. This is hard, and necessary for progress.

In my latest round of downsizing, I am letting go of the things that I am lukewarm about. These are things that are, you know, oh-kayy, which found their way into my closet because I was too lazy to look for the item that would allow me to realise the vision I had in my head more closely. Specifically, these are:

(1) red coat - holy fucking shit, I love red coats. This has got nothing to do with the fact that I attended a school whose winter uniform included a red duffle coat, that I secretly loved; I guess now the secret's out. This has a lot to do with the fact that I love the colour red, it has the power to make me feel better, instantly.

(2) dark gray anything - I am living in dark gray everything this winter, I have been doing this since last winter and I realise that I am growing to love the colour more and more. I am not alone in this, I know this because I find myself in colour-related conversations discussing my love for dark gray anything. My love for this colour is almost as intense as my love for red.

(3) black - I was never into black until I met le boyf whose collection was black everything, until he met me and started wearing a lot of... red. Need I explain more? The people you love often influence your sense of style because they like to see you in a certain way. Le boyf dresses better than me, and being with me has resulted in me being more experimental with the things I wear. His sense of style is very stable, whereas mine is more all over the place. People who see us tend to think that I dress sloppily compared to him, but I swear it's just a different style. Or to put it differently, I am not as classically inclined as he is during the weekends that we are seen together.

This weekend, while it is pouring wet, yet again, I am going through my closet and asking the question "Do I love it?" and if the answer is no, the item has to go. Funny how the universe has the ability to carve out some time in your schedule to make you one step closer to the vision that you didn't realise you have: every item that stays my closet, I want to love them because of their quality.

Happy weekend and stay dry. x