On self image

So. My friend, who is a girl, said that one of the lowest ways that some girls used to fish for compliments is to self-criticise. I think she is being extremely nice in describing this because this is something that I would've classified as a manifestation of insecurity and self-absorbed behaviour. We have all experienced girls like this at some point in our lives. Some are chronic offenders, others are just desperate for attention, the ones with genuine mental problems (that remain undiagnosed) - let's not go there.

For as long as I can remember, I was fat, I was chubby, everyone told me so. I tried to lose weight, and subsequently resigned to the fact that I am one of those people (if they ever admit to it) who are perpetually on a diet. Now, I think I look fine, thankyouverymuch. I like the way I look. I quite like my jaw line too, now that I am looking at it in the above picture. And that is all that matter. 

Admitting defeat: white is never my colour

Admitting defeat is hard, but is necessary for progress. Once upon a time, I was into white. I don't quite remember that time, but I imagine I must have worn white. Why I wore white is something I can't quite figure out today. What attracted me to the colour is something I am struggling to comprehend. Because it is definitely not my colour of choice, for both practicality or flattery, not to mention maintenance. There, I said it. 

And as in the case of temporary infatuation, it ended quite so abruptly and these things were banished to the dark corners in my wardrobe, and did not quite see a light of day until this morning, when these pictures were taken. So long!

Worthwhile investment items

Somethings in life you are better off investing in. These things are usually reliable, consistent and... persistent. In this case... the sunglasses! For as long as I can remember, I've always had sunglasses. They are reliably protective, especially if you live in Sydney; they are consistently in season, i.e. as in wearing sunnies never go out of style; and you persistently need them, especially on those days that you want to conceal your dark circles!

Sunglasses by coach.com (old); t-shirt by ... err.. not sure, but it's really old!!

The biggest lesson about shopping

The biggest lesson that I've learned about shopping is: watch out for low prices.
(1) Low price is often an indicator of low quality and low wear-life. Considering that I often search high and low for a particular colour/cut/style, this combination is annoying.
(2) Low price, usually on discounted items, often represents bargains! Bargains are my Achilles heels because I often end up buying things that I don't need nor necessarily want, other than the mere fact that I wanted to score a bargain (and the high does not last that long).
(3) Low price usually means mindless purchases for me, which is something I am trying so desperately to curb. I don't even want to talk about whether I am contributing to the terrible impact of the fast fashion industry because I suspect I am and I don't know what to do about it.

I much rather spend on high quality items that I need and want and stand the test of time; bring me joy every time I wear them, true to my style and lifestyle, as well as contributing to the greater good of the planet. That may be too ambitious, but something to aspire to. 

Style Resolutions (June 2013)

It is useful, in my opinion, to evaluate one's style at least annually, at the very minimal, to prevent a clothing rut. My personal preference has always been for this thing called reinvention, which, to me, indicates a certain level of personal reflection and growth. I have put this under the general heading of style, but it is really about wardrobe management.

This year, my only style resolution was embedded into the general pool of new years resolutions that I wrote when I was freshly out of Jakarta's most recent flood. At that time, I wanted to be more conscious of the things that I bought, in particular, not buying things just because they are a good deal. As all the bargain hunters out there can attest to at one point or another, this one is really difficult to stick with.  The number of times this has been broken so far this year: 7 times. That's on average slightly more than 1 item per month, but the concentration of breaking this rule has been towards the beginning of the year, during the month of April, to be precise (I succumbed to the temptation of asos.com). For the remainder of the year, I'd like to follow a closer observation of the same resolution: do not buy items just because they are a good deal. 

A new resolution I'd like to adhere to, and is inline with my first resolution, is only keep items that fit my lifestyle. What this really means is that I need to embark on this journey of parting with items that do not and/or will not get enough wear. I have been purging since the beginning of this year and have given a lot of things to people that I think will like them. This has been a difficult but very rewarding process. The hardest part about this is admitting defeat. You know, when you admit something along the lines of: I bought these things because they were a good deal. I wore them once or twice max and the rest of the time they are just sitting there in my wardrobe doing absolutely nothing. It is time that someone else enjoy them, hopefully more than I did once upon a time.

Admitting that you are wrong is not a nice feeling. Having a well-curated wardrobe is. I'll choose the latter any day, thanks.

But I have nothing to wear

It is a battle for me getting dressed every morning. This is because most of my clothes do not fit like they used to. It is like that feeling of having a closet full of clothes but you have nothing to wear.

My default go-to outfit perfectly describes my "laziness" when it comes to dressing up these days - a pair of shorts and oversized tees. The tees are oversized because well, they used to fit well. I am somewhat rather attached to my clothes, so I'd like to "stretch" their usage in my life before I admit defeat and put them in the donation bin.

Ever since I took up running, I much prefer walking around with sport shoes. Yes, I know that a lot of people are officially horrified by this. All I can say is, sometimes, practicality becomes style. 

To "winterise" the outfit, I put on an oversized jumper. I know, I know, that's laziness to a new level.

Coming up: style resolutions!

A touch of leopard

Where I am in this wardrobe journey? Approximately eight months ago, I decided to adopt regular exercise into my routine. Prior to this, I was an on-and-off exercise person, mostly on the off. My wardrobe used to fit really well until I changed my routine, because a very nice, unintended side effect is weight loss. This time around, I approach my wardrobe differently than I have been in the past. I have been evaluating and re-evaluating each piece and questioning myself why I was keeping the things that did not bring me joy. They were either the wrong colour, wrong style or just terribly ill-fitting. I happily let those things go and there are still more to let go. To put it simply, I am in a transitional period of letting the past go and figuring out what's to come.

Leather jacket by asos.com; leopard scarf by cotton on.